These writings are for the imperfect person searching for more of the Perfect God.

Monday, September 12, 2016

A letter to the one who wakes me in the middle of the night

Dear worry, 

It's 3:33am as I write this, being woken up by you.

We both know you care very little about my sleep.  In fact it's during these hours you choose to heighten the awareness of your presence. You tug aggressively at the hem of my pjs, obsessing over a need to deplete me of enduring hope and permanent solution.

You tactfully harass the mind with painful lies, inaccurate assumptions and deceitful worst-case-scenarios; all in an evil effort to lose my sure-footing on this path God has purposefully, distinctively and passionately designed for me to walk.

The path on this journey-of-life has deep valleys and high mountains.  And yet, over-and-over-and-over-and-over God has filled in the valleys, leveled out the mountains, straightened the curves and smoothed out the rough places (Isaiah 40:4.) All the while, planting large road signs in bold capital letters along the path stating, "Be strong and courageous!"  Another one reading, "Do not be afraid and do not panic!" And yet another, "I will neither fail you nor abandon you!"

But you know all this.

I don't need to remind you of Gods truth.  Or of His enormity. Or of His power. Or of His provision.  Or of His wisdom.   Or of His faithfulness. Or of His sovereignty.  Or of His Holiness.  Or of His justice.  Or of His grace.  Or of His protection. No, you know it all.

Yet, truth remains your greatest competitor.  While seeking to eliminate any and all remnants of its existence from my mind at this 3:am hour, your weapon of fear has become  the very infrastructure to your method of destruction.

It's the very ingredient you use to  wake me up. Grab my attention. Cause an increase in my pulse.  Remove my gaze from Solution towards problem. I see how fear is your valued and treasured companion.  And together, your collaboration is orchestrated for one purpose only--  To take that which God has redeemed, restored, renewed, and blind the mind at this dark hour so that all truth, clarity, and Godly perspective can potentially become obsolete.

And for a split moment, I hear the gentle, kind, familiar, warm, safe voice of Truth speak purposefully and directly into my spirit-- reminding me what the enemy intended to do at this wee hour of the night. And it certainly was not for enlightenment, but for exhaustion.  Not for awareness, but for anxiousness. Not for truth, but for deception.  Not for help, but for harm. Not for rest, but for confusion.

Yet, what you've failed to remember is that the Holy Spirit, who IS the Sprit of Truth, is using this restless moment for good. These very words would not of been spoken, these absolute truths would not of been revealed, God's powerful presence would not of been experienced had you not woken me up at this 3:am hour.

So, thank you, worry.

Thank you for being a constant thorn in my side that keeps me securely planted and purely refreshed by the knowing I have a God who is the solution to all that you threaten, harass and violate the mind of which belongs to Him.  Yes, I do know your battle with me is real.  And I have two options; to fold at your threats or fight for the territory that doesn't belong to you!  You have invaded Holy ground that is not yours to take.  Therefore, the battle must be fought, daily.

But I know how this ends.  You know how this ends.  And this we both know, it is most definitely not in your favor.

Sincerely, me.

Jesus takes all the worries of the heart and confidently places it down at His feet. While cupping our face into His gentle hands, He repeats three penetrating words which have the potential to alter an entire generational line: "I've got this."

Yes, Father, indeed You do.

"Don't worry about anything.
Instead, pray about everything.
Tell God what you need and thank Him for all He has done.
Then, you will experience His peace, which exceeds anything we can understand.
His peace will guard your heart and mind as you live in Christ Jesus."
(Philippians 4:6-8)

"I prayed to the Lord and He answered me.
He freed me from all my fears.
Those who look to Him for help will be radiant with joy."
(Psalm 34 4-5)

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