These writings are for the imperfect person searching for more of the Perfect God.

Monday, November 28, 2016

Scoliosis of the Heart

Sometimes it still overwhelms me that I have two 18 inch titanium bars running up and down my spine.

A Spine that was prone to wander, to curve beyond its boundaries, to engage in that which was beyond its God-given design. 

They say a spine is the internal infrastructure to the human body.  Supporting the bodies weight, facilitating movement, operating flexibility and protecting the vulnerable spinal cord from injury that would alter both the brain and inner organ functions.  And if that weren't enough, the spine's individual vertebrates each house nerves which extend from the brain throughout the body sending movement, thought and sensory perception signals.

It's no wonder God uses analogies such as "straight paths, straight ways, straight roads, straight feet and straight direction," when describing a life of abundance, of liberation, of hope, of joy- and most importantly, of restoration.

God's in the business of restoring the crooked spinal column of the heart. He finds such deep satisfaction in being the surgeon to my life.  Taking my curved, wandering, self-destructive heart and implanting His divine, supernatural, life giving guard rails along my prone-to-wander soul; straightening the very central support beam of my life so that my wandering, curving, crooked heart would stay where it's safe.  Where it's protected. Where it's offering life to others.  Where it's bearing good fruit. Where it's tasting sweetness of hope. Where it's a blessing and no longer a curse.

But this wandering spine of my heart, yep, it's prone to venture beyond its God-permitted design.

It was in the curved path of both my life and spine where pain was experienced. Where conflict of purpose was tasted. Where confusion of boundaries was cultivated.

The curve of my spine resisted staying within its safe boundaries of protection.  And as a result, the body, the organs, the brain, the nerves-- they were all negatively effected by the health of my spine. How often I, too, see how my children, my husband, my friends, my family, are all affected by the condition, the health of the spine of my heart.  A scoliosis-of-the-heart has enough power to set my life off balance.

Jer 50:5 "They will start back home again.  They will BIND themselves to the Lord with an eternal covenant that'll never be forgotten."

I started back home again. After chronic pain, daily exhaustion, consuming fear, anxious thoughts, restless sleeps-- I, too, started home again. 

And the moment I started my journey back home, God binded the vertebrates of my heart to His perfect, good, pleasing, restful, joy-filled titanium bars of protection.  Bars that took the hearts' curved path, and by the steady hands of the Great Physician, surgically straightened it. Releasing me of the shame which gripped my thoughts, the fear which consumed my mind, the counterfeit love which deceived the heart, the curve which disfigured the soul.

Ironically, I learned just today that the titanium rods in the spine are no longer needed after approximately twelve months of recovery. They're originally put into place while the spine permanently fuses and binds itself into its new straight position. Once the fusion is complete, the rods are no longer the primary source of preventing that which was curved from becoming crooked again.  God's guard rails of the path of life are similar. The bars along the newly straightened path are boundaries, perimeters, safety measures; so that while I'm still unsteady, still unable to keep straight the path He's laid out before me, He's keeping my feet steady and straight, all the while protecting my heart from returning to its former crooked position.

And this is precisely how God interceded with my own feeble human heart. Enabling a season of growth, of self-evaluation, of healing, so that He could be given access to straighten out the curves, level out the mountains, raise up the valleys, smooth out the path (Isaiah 40:3-5) and place His titanium guard rails along the boundary of the scoliosis heart; so that I am protected, guided, mentored, nurtured, re-parented and filled with the Life-Giving presence of Jesus.

Although my new normal comes with new limitations; every time I walk, stand and sit, the stiff bars within my spine remind me how good God is.  How grateful I am to have a constant, tangible reminder in the inner fiber of my being that I have a God who takes the scoliosis of my heart and surgically straightens each individual vertebrae so that I can experience first hand Isaiah 30:21: "Wether you turn to the left or to the right, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying "this is the way, walk in it." 

If you have found yourself on the crooked path of life, dear friend, there is no question as to why you are reading this. He has brought you here, in this place, at this time, so that He alone can surgically, gently, and radically transfer your heart into a straight, smooth and guard-railed path. A path offering hope. A path offering rest. A path offering refreshment. A path offering joy. A path offering freedom from the exhaustion, fear and anxiousness the crooked heart obtained.  

Gods simple recipe for straightening the scoliosis of our hearts remain the same:
"In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight ." Proverbs 3:6. 

If you and I desire and choose to seek His will for our life, He promises to surgically align the spine of our heart with His protective titanium bars of radical love, unfathomable grace and abundant life.  Please know this, He is a good God who WILL "make His way STRAIGHT before you." (Psalm 5:8) 


  1. Blessings, dear Joy! Beautifully written... <3

    1. As always, dear friend, I love your encouraging, loving & Christ-centered heart❤️