And honestly, I fear for her eventual broken heart. Her inevitable shattered emotions. Her imminent shaken spirit-- after the break up.
But it begins with who's in the control tower of her life. Who's there? Is it a boy? A presidential candidate? A substance? A feeling? A counterfeit comfort? Who and what holds the prescription to her joy, her peace, her hope, her identity, her emotional stability, and most importantly, her security.
They say the phone lines at the National Suicide Prevention reached an all-time high in over 25 years after the presidential election.
They say local schools are offering grief counseling for our children who have been traumatized by the outcome of the presidential debate.
They say scheduled class time have been cancelled for collegiate level students to grieve with an on-site therapist and the offer is being accepted by the multitudes.
They say streets of large cities are being flooded with weeping, confused and angry US citizens-- while each tear drop, hitting the well-worn concrete pavement, represent a deep, abiding sense of hopelessness, anxiety, loss and of course, fear.
And many watching eyes from their family room television sets are left whispering, why??
"Faith," I say to my sweet girl in these recent days, "love is wonderful. Love is joyous. And God made us relational beings so that we are to do life with one another and love each other well. Yet, when we have given someone access to a place in the heart which gives them power over our security, control over our emotions, authority over our safety, provision over our heart condition, and dominion over our identity-- we've simply de-throned Jesus from His rightful place and replaced His position with someone who will ultimately, inevitably, and undeniably let-you-down. Spouses, friendships, parents, siblings, presidents, kings-- they're all valuable people, wonderful bonuses, helpful resources, gifts from God. But the mili-second they have the authority to dictate your hope, dear daughter, into complete hopelessness, to dictate your joy into utter despair, to dictate your Light into absolute darkness, you can be sure God has been dethroned from His position in the control tower of your heart," I share with her, as I'm speaking directly into my own prone-to-wander heart.
I repetitively and annoyingly remind her to love and to love well. But to know her worth. To know her value. To know her security. To know her anchor. Because when an important relationship fails, a long term position dissolves, a health issue attacks, a presidential candidate takes office, she will be unshakeable. Unshakably certain in who she is and in whom she belongs.
Yes, her human heart will hurt. Her human soul will sting. But her Divine control tower will not loose its sure footing in the deep knowing she was made for a purpose, a destination, a calling of that which supersedes a failed relationship, an uncertain nation, a deep loss. The blows of life will indeed be felt, but they will not be given permission or direct access into the dictation of her hope.
A hope that does not fail.
It was late one school-night evening last week.
I had been asleep for some time and woke to a small spark of light peeking into the upstairs hallway. As I groggily followed and moved closer to this distant light, I noticed it was coming from the small space under my daughters closed door. Immediately, my thoughts went to her being on the phone with this boy significantly later than what she was permitted. So, I did what any good mama would do (this was not my finest moment) and secretively creeped open the door just enough to catch her red handidly. But what my eyes saw was quite different than what my wrongful assumptions tempted me to believe. There she was, crawled up into her favorite blanket, in her favorite position, reading my favorite book-- God's Word. I slowly and quietly slid the door back into its former closed position and crawled my in-awe heart back into bed, filled in abundance with peace. Peace knowing that in this moment, right here, tonight, she was exactly where she needed to be; inviting God into the control tower of her heart.
"Those who have fled to God for refuge can have a great confidence as we hold to the hope that lies before us. This hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls. It leads us into His presence." (Hebrews 6 18&19)
Yep, it's inevitable.... the break-up. But what's not inevitable is the break of her anchored heart. A heart which belongs to the One who holds it in the palm of His safe, secure, hope-promised hands. The same One which is holding yours as well--- where you can walk confidently, securely, purposefully and peacefully in the face of challenging circumstances.
As the late Brennan Manning used to say:
"Define yourself as one radically loved by God. This is your true-self. Every other identity is just an illusion."