These writings are for the imperfect person searching for more of the Perfect God.

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

You don't have to.

You dont have to. 
Did you know that? 

You don't have to say yes, when you long to say no.

You don't have to go, when you desire to stay.

You don't have to sign up, when you're eager to resign. 

You dont have to lead, when you need to receive.

You don't have to smile, when your heart is hurt.

You don't have to perform, when you crave to be real. 

You don't have to be perfect, when you're starved for grace.

You don't have to be fake, when you're parched for transparency. 

You don't have to control, when you're overwhelmed with fear.

You don't have to 'do,' when you yearn to 'be.'

You don't need to accomplish, when you're desperate for rest.

You don't need to.

You don't have to. 

But we do, don't we? 

I tend to do that which I desire not to.  Saying yes, when a genuine desire is to say no.  Performing and appearing perfect, when a passion to be authentically real haunts the soul.   

It's become an epidemic in our society, particularly amongst us women, would you agree?  There's this continual voice within the heart repeating I have to be all things to all people to be all approved by all those I want to like me.  Love me.  Approve of me. Want me.  See me.

Over two million copies of the book "Boundaries" have been sold since 2015, and yet, the inability to say no, to set boundaries, to know our limits, to set proper guard rails, to break free from perfectionism are often weak and/or non-existent.

The problem appears not to be in the wealth and over abundance of knowledge and understanding of boundaries, but in the making, setting, and implementing of them.  

But here's the thing, if there's even a hint of believing the tactfully, deceitfully and strategically placed lie from satan that I'm not worthy enough, not valuable enough, not lovable enough, not beautiful enough, not smart enough, not perfect enough, not precious enough, not enough.... than there's no level or amount of boundary knowledge that's sufficient or capable of taking root.  If I don't believe I'm of any value, big or small, the-head-knowledge-boundary will ultimately fizzle to nothing once the opportunity to actually use them presents itself.  

And the truth, I'm not enough. But the One in me, IS.  

I remember my first experience as a social worker, driving through neglected Detroit neighborhoods, regularly visiting homes which were unkept, uncared and often unlocked.  The owners had very little to no treasure inside the home, therefore no reason to lock the doors, care for its surrounding and place proper boundaries around its perimeter to prevent unwanted trespassers.  

We often duplicate this in our own hearts, don't we? Seeing ourselves as something not worth locking doors for, placing proper fences around and/or establishing functional and safe guard rails throughout. 

Or maybe we go the opposite extreme and place multiple bulletproof deadbolts and sky rise fences around the perimeter of the cautious heart; and not because we feel 'enough' but because we feel fear. Fear of future pain, fear of future heartache, fear of future let down.  

Neither boundary-xtreme is healthy, helpful or Gods design; and yet we often vacillate between the two gripping emotions of shame (resulting in lack of boundaries and performance/perfection-based mentalities) and fear (resulting in excessive boundaries.)

The answer, the secret, the remedy? It's simple, really.  Yet, it lies not within us alone, but within Him by:

The One who says you are whole and healed. (Isaiah 53:5)
The One who says you are forgiven. (1 John 1:9)
The One who says you are His masterpiece. (Ephesians 2:10)
The One who says you are firmly rooted. (Colossians 2:7)
The One who says you are redeemed. (Isaiah 43:1)
The One who says you are restored. (Jeremiah 30:17)
The One who says you are His workmanship (Eph. 2:10)
The One who says you are an overcomer. (Revelation 12:11)
The One who says you are His child. (1 Peter 1:23)
The One who says you are His joint-heir. (Romans 8:17)
The One who says He knows you by name. (John 10:3)
The One who says you are a conqueror. (Romans 8:27)
The One who says you are holy and blameless. (Col. 1:22)
The One who says you are complete in Him. (Col 2:10)
The One who says you have no lack. (Psalm 34:18)
The One who says you have the power of God. (Eph 1:19)
The One who says you have the spirit of wisdom. (Eph 1:17)
The One who says you have the righteousness of Christ. (Romans 3:22)
The One who says you have a sound mind. (2 Tim 1:7)
The One who says you can do all things through Him. (Phil 4:13)
The One who says you are His vessel. (2 For 5:20)
The One who says He loves you. (Nehemiah 9:17)
The One who says He will never fail you. (Deuteronomy 31:8)
The One who says He can't forget you. (Isaiah 49:15
The One who says He will fight for you. (Exodus 14:14)
The One who says He will search for you. (Jeremiah 29:13)
The One who says He sings songs of victory over you. (Zep 3:17
The One who says He delights in you. (Zephaniah 3:17)
The One who says He will never abandon you. (Psalm 27:10)
The One who says He will strengthen you. (Colossians 1:11)
The One who says He will be with you. (Isaiah 43:2)

Soak that in.

Because they're for you. Not just her, not just him, not just someone else more deserving.... for you beautiful one.

It's here our yes will be yes, our no will be no and our identity, our purpose, our worth, our very calling will be something we work from and not for; enabling our anchored  heart to radiate authenticity and to confidently, yet lovingly respond, "I don't have to."

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