These writings are for the imperfect person searching for more of the Perfect God.

Monday, September 25, 2017

Confessions of a recovering helicopter mom

Dear children of mine,

I have an innate desire to protect you from any and all opposing forces that may come your way in this messy life you are venturing into.  And, let me just put this out there;  whoever shared the parenting advise, while two of you were knee deep in diapers & one fresh into kindergarten, that it gets easier-- they were wrong. Dead wrong. 

Every moment, every day, every week, every month, every year, every decade- botanical growth is being developed, and not just in your precious lil bones, but in the spiritual, mental and emotional places of the heart.

"Growing pains hurt," I remember repetitively whispering in your impressionable ears as I rubbed those aching legs and wiped those crocodile tears, night after night. 

But what I didn't know, was that I, too, was experiencing growing pains along side you. Pains which God was rubbing out within my own heart, night after night, all while whispering far into the roots of my mama soul-"growing pains hurt" as He gently wiped away every. single. tear.

You see, the growing pains I was experiencing, as your mom, was stemmed from deeply rooted fear.  Fear which fed the inclination to manipulate the system.  To get you in the right classroom with the best teacher.  On the winning team with the brightest future.  In the right peer group with the stand-up reputation.

But I'd forgotten. 

I'd forgotten it's not when you're on the mountain top of academic success, or the peek of popularity, or the summit of athletic victory where you'll find triumph. Where you'll obtain purpose.  Where you'll receive character.  Where you'll adopt compassion. Where you'll experience gratitude. 

No, in fact, it's when you're on the losing team.  When you're sitting in the difficult classroom.  When you're rejected by your peers-- this is where you'll find endurance.  Wholeness.  Empathy.  Love.  You will experience, first hand, an inner God-woven muscle deep within the heart, which can only be developed, only be matured, only be grown, only be fostered in such an environment, in such an atmosphere, in such a place as heartache, loss, disappointment, rejection, humiliation, defeat.

And this, my sweet child, this particular muscle developed in the hard-times, is the very muscle that will eventually place your soon-to-be strong, steady, equipped, empathic, kind, loyal and loving heart on the path towards life. The intricately, purposefully and personably designed path; freshly tilted, perfectly paved and hand designed specifically for you to walk in and serve your purpose in this generation (Acts 13:36.)

"When we run into problems and trials, we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope." (Romans 5:3-4.)

It's in the fire where gold is purified.  Where impurities are stirred, skimmed and stripped.  Where pure gold is set-apart from other medals and imperfections- resulting in you, precious one, being clothed and saturated in His wisdom, His strength, His beauty and His love.  (Proverbs 3:15.)

The fire, whether it arrives in the form of being on a repetitively losing team or a season of deep rejection from those who don't see and understand your heart, is a gift from Your Perfect Father.  Setting you apart, He purifies the heart within and gently leads you into your unfathomable, incomprehensible, unimaginable, inconceivable future.  God has called you for a specific calling, for a specific destination, for a specific purpose.  And let me just say, it is good.

Oh, but the pain of witnessing you fall. fail. Rejected. Disrespected. Ignored. It's seems too difficult for this heart to endure.

But, again, I've forgotten.

I'm not your ultimate parent.  He is.  He's simply chosen me to care and shepherd and teach and instruct and love and provide for his precious one's.  It's a lack of trust in my Perfect, Holy, Good and kind Father when I forget to Whom you really belong.  A Father who will never forsake you.  Never reject you.  Never leave you.  Never betray you.  Never hurt you. Never injure you.  Never forget you.  Never deny you. Never deceive you.  


He leaves the ninety-nine to find you. (Matt 18:12) You, sweet one.  Yes, you who's experiencing disappointment, feeling rejection, tasting defeat.  You.  And it's only here; in the fire, in the battle, in the loss, in the difficulties where endurance, strength, character and hope for the very purpose of your life, in this generation, will be found.

I love you,  Mom.

Saturday, September 2, 2017

If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.

*Written by my beautiful daughter, Faith.  In this, she shares her genuine, transparent and wise heart to inspire and encourage other teenage girls preparing for the new school year.  (She also hand drew each image shown below- yep, she's pretty amazing.) Enjoy His love flowing through her pen.  You'll be blessed.
High school is where your life begins to go full-force.

It’s the starting line to figuring out who you are, your future, and the type of crowd you “flow” with. 

High school also comes with many feelings and emotions. Excitement, anxiety, stress, all-time highs, rock bottoms, happiness, feeling loved, feeling rejected, loneliness… the list goes on and on. And no matter who you are or what grade you’re in, we’ve all experienced at least one of these emotions in our own ways, with our own stories, and through our own storms. 

As daughters of God, possibly one of the most common emotions is rejection. We enter high school at the start of the year after a rejuvenating and refreshing summer, feeling ready and confident in our faith to spread the gospel to our peers.  Suddenly, our eyes are open widely to the realization that realty did not read the script to the scenario we have placed in our heads. 

Being bold can be very frightening, for many reasons, but the biggest reason is because we know that, more than likely, people will have an attitude of rejection towards any subject that involves faith. 

Another fear could be persecution. The start of my freshman year, I wasn’t afraid to spread the love of Christ, also never knowing what it’s like to be persecuted. That quickly changed. Not only was I hurt, but I was confused. If God called me to be bold, then why would he be allowing this to happen? Why would he allow me to feel like I was entering a battlefield every day as I walked through those front doors? Why would he allow me to feel this rejected and lonely? 

It is hard to keep looking up at Him when the world is forcing you to look down with them.  But these verses I hold tight to:

-“Everyone will hate you because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved.” Mark 13:13

-“For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.” Philippians 1:21

-“If anyone would come after me, let him take up his cross and follow me.” Mark 8:34

-“Whoever loves his life will lose it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.” John 12:25

God clearly showed me with these verses that being a Christian isn’t easy. Every single day, we will have to carry our cross, we will be talked about, and life will be hard. Yet, our reward is far greater than our sacrifices, and sometimes our greatest victories come from our greatest hurts. 

We can be joyous through the persecution, holding that smile on our face, showing our persecutors love, because we know we’re doing exactly what God has called us to do. 

I can’t tell you that being bold gets easier, or that it gets more comfortable, or even that it doesn’t still hurt; because I’d be lying. Talking to people about my faith still makes me very uncomfortable, but accepting Jesus into your heart doesn’t mean you are automatically in a comfortable position all the time. 

Realize these hardships and don’t fade from God. 

Instead, cling tighter to Him, and ask what He wants you to do or see in the situation. God put you in this, He will get you through it.  Your bond, love, and trust with Him can strengthen significantly during this. 

It can also be challenging with the things that seems so minuscule in our eyes. I struggle with this, especially such as the way I dress or how I speak. I have to constantly remind myself that my body is a temple and perfected by God.  I don’t need to use it to seek the wrong attention from guys because God already loves and adores me, and He is all I need. 

We are the hands, feet, and yes, tongue, of Christ. What we say to others or even our light that we shine could be the only example of God in people’s lives.

You are not alone in your persecution; people all around the world are fighting through exactly what we are. Pray for one another. Pray that we'd have the strength not to shrivel back just because that’s what the world demands of us.  Instead, that we'd climb this steep mountain with our eyes locked on God. Pray for each other because we understand how hard it is to go through persecution.  God is worth it all.

In Love,  Faith